"...and you said nothing was going

to come UP between us!"

"What's the past tense of VIRGIN?"

"Are you going SWIMMIN soon as my back is turned?"

"Me and the boys at your husband's office had

a bet and I JUST WON!"

"Let's see now. What was it Pa told me to do next?"

"Hello Bill...I guess you know your wife, here..."

"Do you think I'd eat that pudding after that

THING has been in there?"

"No need to fix the fight now, Stud...

his punch is GONE!"

"If you've got under ten inches long, you're in trouble!"

"GADZOOKS...but aren't the KNIGHTS growing LONGER!"

"You got one more? I think I've got this one whipped!"

"FORE"

"The flowers may be more fitting than you think!
My last two tricks died in bed!"

"Wife-swap club, hell I ain't wore the
new off my OWN wife yet!"

"Madam, there's a motorcycle cop outside selling

tickets to the Policeman's ball and he simply

won't take no for an answer!"

"Oh, isn't this silly...'beware

of a little man with a beard."

"Can't you forget your damn Boy Scout

oath for ONCE!"

"You know what we've done, Doris -

we've slept right through our wedding!"

"Be a gentleman for once in your life, Harold

and look the other way!"

"I'm like the players on that baseball team you own...

I don't play without diamonds."

"I'll say you resemble the first duke...

He's been dead 200 years!"

"Boy, what a time I just had...when I entered the

professor asked who it was and I said it was you!"

"You poor man...

you must be FAMISHED!"

"Oh John, you silly boy - Mrs Beswick only

asked you to help her with her Groceries!"

"ER...just what medical school did you go to?"

"We were supposed to be viewers, not participants!!"

"Oh I don't think my occupation would be of interest to you...

I'm just one of those porn stars with a big cock..."

"But Mr. Krantz...you told me to give a little head."

"Now, this is your big scene, Miss Debere, so don't blow it...

that happens in the next scene."

"You got the part, Miss Lushbody...How would

you like to try for the porno national awards?"

"Mr. Boltz, she's up staging me!

Her tits hide my face through the whole shoot!"

"No-no, gerry, don't grab my tit like you're catching a grapefruit...

cup it gently like he's doing it..."

"Don't worry. I'll get to you Mary Lou...

I gotta take care of Bessie first!"

"Ah-h-h Decisions, Decisions, Decisions."

"Harold, you silly boy...

in the dark you mistook Marie's for mine."

"Oops...my husband will be home soon.

We'll have to skip the foreplay."

"Who the fuck is dancing!"

"I haven't got a bad gun hand myself, Pardner!"

"Er..ah..Miss Dawson, when I asked you what
position you liked..I..er..meant with the firm."

"And to think my wife said there wasn't
anything good on T.V. tonight!"

"Hi, Joe, I thought I'd surprise you with a little lunch."

"Well, if experience is the only thing
keeping you from marrying my daughter...
I'll take care of that in a jiffy."

"I just don't understand why ALL men
go insane over me!"

"I must say, Jones, I've never met anyone
quite so proud of his wife as you are."

"WOWEE-E-E! That was a fantastic 3 hours...
I wonder if the porn film was that good."

"Just taking inventory, Miss Shapley...
yep, they're still here."

"Stick out your tongue!"

"What do you mean do I have a hobby? Miss Great Body...
This is !"

"Sorry Miss, but this offer doesn't apply to you...
with those boobs we'd need a tank car full!"

"Sorry I'm going to be late for dinner, dear...

My secretary and I really have our hands filled at the office..."